Golf Carts for Gaza
Plus: Two Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Trump is paying people to leave, and a vexing vexillology conundrum.
In a move that can only be described as peak papal panache, Pope Francis has decided to donate his signature ride—The Popemobile—to Gaza. The plan? Transform this bulletproof blessing-mobile into a roving children's clinic. While I appreciate the humanitarian gesture, I can't help but pontificate on a few logistical conundrums.
First off, unless this thing has some subterranean capabilities, how exactly is it supposed to navigate Gaza's extensive tunnel network?
And speaking of access, getting anything into Gaza these days is about as uncomplicated as the pope betting markets.
When Hamas gave a hard pass to Cardinal Pierbattista Pizzaballa (and yes, that is his name) offering himself in exchange for hostages, was there ever a “Okay, but what if I throw in the popemobile, too?” moment?
And finally, what’s the protocol of ecclesiastical regifting? Does the next pope have to lease their own ride, or is it a one-pope-per-mobile situation?
Welcome to the Gist List—a news roundup, interesting things you should know, and my thoughts leading up to today’s podcast episode.
Here’s what’s on my mind. My apologies ahead of time—it is very Trump-heavy:
🎬 Doubling up on your favorite foreign films.
💸 Trump wants to pay people to leave the country.
🪙 Your chance to meet Donald Trump (for a price).
🗳️ Oklahoma wants to teach election fraud conspiracies.
🇨🇦 The return of my favorite feature: The Vexillology Corner.
The Gist List
Trump Movie Tariffs Could Hit U.S. Film Studios Where It Hurts the Most (Axios)
Jon Voight, as well as actors who have definitely not lost any relevance, Sylvester Stallone and Mel Gibson, were named by Trump to help restore Hollywood’s “Golden Age” and counteract the move of the U.S. film industry out of LA. Part of that plan: Impose a 100% tariff on foreign-made films.
What exactly does this mean? Well, Hollywood isn’t exactly sure since a movie doesn’t exactly have to collect dust in a shipping container until the producer can afford to pay the tariff. Does this mean that Fellini's 8 1/2 becomes 17? Does 400 Blows hit our shores as 800 Blows? (That’s too many blows.) Will it be Lock, Stock and Four Smoking Barrels? Whatever, I would buy a ticket to see Y tus dos mamás también.
Trump Administration Says It Will Pay Immigrants in the U.S. Illegally $1,000 to Leave the Country (Seattle Times)
Master negotiator Donald Trump has yet another gambit to deport as many people as possible: Pay them $1,000 to GTFO. I don't claim to be a master of the Art of the Deal, but when Sweden's throwing around $34,000 exit bonuses, it doesn’t feel like a good deal. Still, it might be better when you consider it takes upwards of $17,000 for us to detain, house, and deport someone the good old-fashioned way. When you factor in that you’d need to round up 50,000 family members to generate enough for one golden visa, it doesn’t seem worth it.
Trump’s Meme Coin Business Racks Up Fees as Buyers Jump at the Chance for Access to the President (AP)
If you ever wanted a chance to meet Donald Trump, here’s your opportunity. Trump’s meme coin, which we were all joking about earlier, is now raking in some serious income—$320 million in fees to be exact. Now, the top 220 coin holders are invited to a dinner later this month. The coin creators (including a Trump Organization affiliate) earned revenue from these trading fees, and over $1.3 million was made just a week after the dinner announcement. What he’s raising funds for, I don’t know, but his merch store might be giving us an idea.
On its face, maybe this looks like a story about Trump being Trump. It hits all the notes that make you want to glaze right over it: It raises “ethics concerns” and got a dressing down from Senator Elizabeth Warren. I get it—we’re sick of hearing these stories, and maybe everyone getting up in arms about his booking Chinese people into his hotel felt like wasted energy. But when you have something like this wide out in the open, allowing people to buy favor with the king President, you have to question where this is all headed.
New Oklahoma Curriculum Requires Students To Learn 2020 Election Fraud Conspiracies (Reason)
Ah yes, high school civics classes: The place where you learn about being a good citizen, how a bill becomes a law, and at least two of the three branches of government, depending on your school district’s funding levels. Now, in a move that makes the push to teach intelligent design look quaint, the state of Oklahoma will require high school students to study 2020 election fraud conspiracy theories with the same academic rigor usually reserved for actual history. Superintendent Ryan Walters (who can be described as a man who hasn’t met a culture war he couldn’t weaponize) describes the curriculum as the “most unapologetically conservative, pro-America social studies standards in the nation.”
Now, it might not be unreasonable to instruct kids to understand the disputes of the 2020 election, the pseudo-religious fervor (alongside Walter’s actual religious fervor) and framing of the issue is certainly pushing one narrative.
In a Small Alaska Town, Canada-U.S. Tensions Are Upending a Longstanding Relationship (CBC)
One couple in Skagway, Alaska, who owns a small inn, has seen 10 to 15 cancellations since Canadians started boycotting the U.S. after Trump’s threats to make Canada the 51st state. It’s only one example of what is turning out to be a messy breakup, but Skagway residents, in an attempt to win Canadians’ love back, have taken to some vexillogically complex campaigns. Take, for instance, this sticker:
Resident Scott Logan has created these stickers, which are the perfect subject for one of my favorite topics of discussion: vexillology. This masterpiece has, as I’ve counted them, FIVE different flags. It’s flags upon flags within flags! On the left, we have the Alaska state flag, and on the right, we have the Yukon provincial flag, all wrapped up in the American and Canadian flags. But it doesn’t just end there. The Yukon seal has the English flag of St. George and, what is effectively two flags, one a tricolor, the other a shield representing the rivers, mountains and natural resources of the Yukon.
If that doesn’t win Canadians back over, I don’t know what will.
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