The Next Surgeon General Has Dating Advice for You

Plus: The new American pope, we need to deport Lorne Michaels & the whisper campaign against John Fetterman.

May 08, 2025

We rely on the Surgeon General for a lot of things: Telling us whether to drink whole milk or skim, how many eggs to eat, how young is too young to get a sex change, and whether smoking will harm your health. You know, the basics.

Now, the Trump administration is nominating a physician with “impeccable 'MAHA' credentials,” Dr. Casey Means—an almost surgeon since she never actually finished her residency—as Surgeon General. Means is a functional medicine specialist, founder of Levels, AND a lifestyle influencer, so we can now expect advice on not only how many fruits and vegetables to eat per day, but also how to look for love after 35, embracing the “woo woo,” what the movie Moana can teach about “wholeness,” and an easy spinach-chickpea wrap recipe your kids will love.

RFK’s former running mate, Nicole Shanahan, is none too pleased with the news believing that RFK either lied to her about promising not to nominate Means, or he is under undue influence saying, “It has been clear in recent conversations that he is reporting to someone regularly who is controlling his decisions (and it isn't President Trump).”

Welcome to the Gist List—a news roundup, interesting things you should know, and my thoughts leading up to today’s podcast episode.

Here’s what’s on my mind:

🤫 The whisper campaign against John Fetterman.

🇬🇧 Trump gives the U.K. the friends and family rate.

🕊️ I bet the papal betting markets didn’t bet on this.

🔪 Bill Gates accuses Elon Musk of killing children.

🫧 It’s time to start stocking up on bubble blasters and Christmas decorations.

🤣 If deporting a child is on the table, so should deporting Lorne Michaels.

The Gist List

Inside Sen. John Fetterman’s office: Canceled Meetings, Skipped Votes and An Outburst with Pa. Teachers (Philadelphia Inquirer)

Before the bombshell of a NY Mag article about him, John Fetterman came across as some sort of maverick, beating the odds. Dasha Burns effectively got burned at the stake for pointing out that Fetterman was having a hard time following their interview following his stroke, and it seems as though excuses were being made for him when he was being perceived as a more progressive candidate.

Now, anonymous staffers are coming out of the woodwork to say he is not up for the job, claiming he is having outbursts and reckless driving, resulting in both he and his wife getting injured. But is this the main story here? My suspicion goes a little deeper. After Hamas attacked Israel on Oct. 7, his full-throated support for Israel deeply upset many of his former staffers and even led to a heated argument with his wife, who opposed Israel’s bombing of Gaza, when she showed up at his office to have it out with him. It may also be the case that Fetterman really IS unwell, and has been for a time, but we’re hearing about it from anonymous staffers not because his condition has worsened, but his position.

When you need to take someone down, sometimes you need less of a scalpel and more of a shiv to the back.

Trump Unveils United Kingdom Trade Deal, First Since 'Reciprocal' Tariff Pause (CNBC)

The U.K. is setting some actual rules with tariffs. The final terms are not complete, but the White House released a fact sheet with some of the details, including:

“The UK will reduce or eliminate numerous non-tariff barriers that unfairly discriminated against American products.”
The 10% reciprocal tariff will remain in place.
Efforts to streamline customs procedures for U.S. exports.
A requirement for the US to negotiate an “alternative arrangement to the Section 232 tariffs on steel and aluminum.”

Prime Minister Keir Starmer compared it to the only thing that comes close in comparison (or maybe the only thing he could think of in the moment), VE day, saying, "It was about this time of day exactly 80 years ago that Winston Churchill announced victory in Europe ... so to be able to announce this great deal on the same day, 80-years forward ... makes this truly historic."

Cardinal Robert Prevost becomes the first American pope, choosing the name Leo XIV (NPR)

And in record time, we saw white smoke announcing a new pope. Reports are still early, but here are a few interesting details about Robert Prevost (AKA Leo XIV):

He is the first ever American to be elected pope.
He speaks Italian, Spanish and Latin and has worked extensively in Peru.
He was a Villanova grad and has a BS in math.
He had VERY long odds in betting markets. Longer than the Knicks, which feature three Villanova players, to the papacy's one!

Bill Gates Accuses Elon Musk of 'Killing' Children with USAID Cuts (Financial Times🔒, NYT)

The Gates Foundation promises to wind down in 2045 instead of becoming a “perpetual foundation.” The idea is that instead of waiting to spend money well into the future, they will give a “bolus dose” of funding in hopes of spurring innovation and solving problems rapidly.

Gates also had some choice words for Elon Musk and accused him of killing children by cutting USAID funds, telling the Financial Times, “The picture of the world’s richest man killing the world’s poorest children is not a pretty one.”

Gates said Musk had cancelled grants to a hospital in Gaza Province, Mozambique, that prevents women transmitting HIV to their babies, in the mistaken belief that the US was supplying condoms to Hamas in Gaza in the Middle East. “I’d love for him to go in and meet the children that have now been infected with HIV because he cut that money,” he said.

Despite the rocky post-divorce drama, Melinda Gates is all on board with the plan. The foundation, which spent $100 billion in the first 25 years of operation, plans on spending $200 billion until it wraps in 2024.

The Bubble Blasters and Other Chinese Goods That Are Paralyzed by Trade Chaos (WSJ)

If you ever wanted to watch a video of a full-grown man not having any fun while playing with a bubble gun, then boy, do I have the story for you. George Balanchi (the man in said video) is a toymaker who relies heavily on China for manufacturing. Now with tariffs on the horizon, he’ll have to find a new manufacturer, but that already takes a lot of time (maybe this is the reason he looks so sad playing with and objectively cool toy.)

Alan Chau, a Chinese manufacturer, also feels the pinch. Now that orders from the U.S. are drying up, he can’t pay his workers and is considering bankruptcy. Some goods coming from China are even being abandoned mid shipment due to the volume of cancelled orders.

Deport Lorne Michaels (Airmail)🔒

Listen—if the U.S. government sees fit to deport a 2-year-old citizen or send a wrongfully detained man to a prison for terrorists, then deporting SNL’s Lorne Michaels should also be on the table. Michaels’ worst crimes might be SNL skits like “Commie Hunting Season” and “Christmas Party,” and sure, he’s also responsible for some pretty great skits, but at the rate things are going, the bar is on the floor.

While we’re at it, Mila Kunis and Arnold Schwarzenegger haven’t released a good movie for a long time, what about them?

Yesterday on the show: The Craft Behind Stage Banter & Songwriting Rule-Breaking

Arkells frontman Max Kerman joins to discuss his book Try Hard: Creative Work in Progress, unpacking the craft behind stage banter, songwriting rule-breaking, and joyful collaboration. He explains why athletes lean on superstition while creatives benefit from breaking routine and planting show tickets around Red Deer with a retired farmer.

There’s more where that came from. Listen to The Gist, and upgrade to Pesca Plus for the ad-free version.

Subscribe to The Gist

Have a story you want us to talk about or an opinion you want to share? Email us at thegist@mikepesca.com or share your thoughts in the comments. We might give you a shoutout in our next newsletter or on the air.