The Cock Fight over Medieval Art
Plus: Consumers are NOT lovin’ it, Neil Gorsuch snaps, and the Ragin’ Cajun has some choice words for David Hogg.
Every now and then, a story comes along that makes me think, “Yes, this is the exact reason the Gist List exists.” Today I present to you, “Head to head: Medieval experts clash over exact number of penises in Bayeux Tapestry.”
It has long been agreed that by scholars at Oxford University, that this iconic tapestry has exactly 93 penises. But according to Christopher Monk, an expert on Anglo-Saxon nudity (although Greco-Roman and Renaissance nudity are a bit out of his wheelhouse), “One should never count one’s penises too quickly.”
Monk detailed in a new blog post that a small dangling appendage at the bottom selvage of the tapestry is not, as once thought a scabbard, but a penis because the scabbards depicted don’t have yellow “blobs” at the end of them and, not to mention, the location is the “completely wrong for a scabbard.”
You can decide for yourself here.
Welcome to the Gist List—a news roundup, interesting things you should know, and my thoughts leading up to today’s podcast episode.
Here’s what’s on my mind:
🕺 Chats wide open, Mike Waltz waltzes out of office.
🍔 Consumers are NOT lovin’ it.
🚑🏃 Lawyers are getting their steps in.
😡 Niel Gorsuch has had it with this lawyer.
🥊 The Ragin’ Cajun v. the Mild Child.
The Gist List
Trump's national security adviser, Mike Waltz and his deputy to leave posts in White House (CBS News)
National Security Council staffers are dropping like Houthis, with Mike Waltz, his deputy Alex Wong, and reportedly others being shown the door. This follows a March incident where Waltz accidentally included The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg in a Signal chat about military strikes in Yemen, revealing classified operational details.
This is an important fact to keep in mind as Waltz draws one last breath as National Security Advisor: His brother-in-law is Scott Stapp, the lead singer of Creed. And Waltz’s sister-in-law is set to become Surgeon General. And his cousin is probably really into craft brewing or something.
McDonald’s store traffic falls unexpectedly as diners grow uneasy about economy (AP)
McDonald's is seeing less traffic with economic worries on the horizon, even before tariffs go into effect, with U.S. same-store sales falling 3.6%. How much could tariffs actually affect it? I suppose your obligatory Happy Meal toy is made in China, but of course, the U.S. has plenty of beef and potatoes to supply the restaurant into perpetuity.
What this story is really about, however, is a preemptive uneasiness about the economy. Even if the tariffs themselves aren’t actually creating a hardship right now, the perception of economic hardship will affect whether or not a Quarter Pounder with cheese sounds good for dinner tonight.
Ambulance chasing is rampant in Texas. Now a Dallas County judge’s law firm is accused (Dallas Morning News)
In Texas, it is illegal for an attorney to contact potential clients within 30 days of an accident, but there’s a workaround. The state allows lawyers to contract with outside firms to use online services for client referrals.
This spun out one couple into cell hell when, just two days after a car accident, they started receiving calls from spoofed numbers. He finally picked up after the sixth call and, within 20 minutes, was being offered a contract to sign up with a local law firm. According to the Dallas Morning News:
Case runners often find accident victims by pulling crash reports filed with the Texas Department of Transportation – a modern update to leaning on tow truck drivers, funeral homes and first responders for leads.
Gorsuch loses patience with top SCOTUS lawyer (Law & Crime)
The Supreme Court has had a rash of school-related cases that now have them feeling like a teacher dealing with a rowdy class. In a heated exchange over a case with a family arguing that a school district failed to follow federal law and provide accommodations for their disabled daughter ensued with one of the attorneys, Lisa Blatt, accused opposing counsel of lying.
When asked about her position, Gorsuch warned her, “I think you should be more careful with your words.” Which led to this exchange:
Blatt continued to fight Gorsuch until she finally withdrew her accusation.
David Hogg clashes with an irate James Carville over Democratic primary plan (Fox News)
David Hogg, the Democratic National Party Vice Chair, whose plan to help Democrats is to have them face off in primaries against less wrinkly challengers, is at it again. When asked about Hogg’s plans to pick off the old and weak, the old and strong James Carville called him a "contemptible little twerp." Later in his debate with Hogg on the Tara Palmeri Show, he called his plans "jackassery of the highest level.” Cajun style.
Despite the heated exchange, they found common ground on wanting to "elect the best Democrat possible" and agreed on the party's issues with male voters. He also later cooled off and expressed support for Hogg on social media, saying, "This man fights. The DNC needs him." (But also probably needs him to stop engineering his spherical firing squad even more.)
Yesterday on the show: What Is Gen-Z Doing With Mewing?
Sadie Dingfelder returns to investigate the cult of “mewing” — the viral tongue-posture technique that promises to chisel your jaw and change your life,...or IS THAT BS? Listen to the full episode:
There’s more where that came from. Listen to The Gist, and upgrade to Pesca Plus for the ad-free version.
Have a story you want us to talk about or an opinion you want to share? Email us at thegist@mikepesca.com or share your thoughts in the comments. We might give you a shoutout in our next newsletter or on the air.
As I understand the recommendation for children is: give them food you actually need to chew rather than all the soft processed crap everyone in the developed world eats right now
Which seems, maybe, not bad advice in a much bigger way?
Haven't listened to the episode yet but curious if you dealt with the Mew's most noteworthy claim to me: that jacked up teeth is a relatively new thing and in prior eras,
where everyone really had to chew real food
teeth were on balance straight and no one needed to have their wisdom teeth out
this fact alone offers some credence to the Mews' hypothesis, even if it won't work for adults.
The practice of removing wisdom teeth has never made any sense to me at all and the Mews' are the only people who have ever offered a reasonable explanation for what's going on there.