Once Upon a Time in High School
Plus: Afrikaner refugees come to the U.S., Newark's stress-inducing brush with death, and arborcidists get their comeuppance.
For those of you who have kids graduating from high school this year, as I do, you’re probably familiar with senior assassination. Basically, kids “assassinate” each other with water guns for a big prize. Students—teams, in many cases—plot elaborate water-gun ambushes. The last team standing wins a pool of cash, an ego boost, and maybe some viral fame.
All over the nation, a moral panic is breaking out, the police are being called, and police resources are being drained. Finally! A way to defund the police! In Westborough, Massachusetts, three separate calls to police over “suspicious armed individuals,” which, in translation, means kids in hoodies with water pistols.
If you’re a senior, maybe dial back the ninja routine—but also, congrats on graduating.
Editor’s Note: Kathleen here. Senior assassination ended for my school the year my sisters used me as a decoy, and another student broke into my house in the middle of the night. Please take it down a notch if only for the sake of your little sister.
Welcome to the Gist List—a news roundup, interesting things you should know, and my thoughts leading up to today’s podcast episode.
Here’s what’s on my mind:
🧳 South African refugees make it to the U.S.
✈️ Newark airport’s stress-inducing brush with death.
😳 Yes, you can be naked in Seattle. Just don’t be weird about it.
😤 Democrats are mad Biden is back in the spotlight.
💸 The national deficit isn’t going anywhere soon.
The Gist List
First Afrikaners Granted Refugee Status Due to Arrive in U.S. (NPR)
To make the Trump administration’s stance on immigration even more confusing, the U.S. government granted 54 Afrikaners P1 refugee status by the U.S. government. Many of the refugees are farmers who faced racial discrimination in South Africa—something Elon Musk and Marco Rubio have been vocal about, saying that they have had their land confiscated. (Something South Africa has disputed, but they are also big on censorship, so take from that what you will.)
The question hanging there is why South African refugees are being accepted into the country when, for example, the temporary protected status of Venezuelans is being revoked. The plan set by the Biden administration for 2025 set a cap of accepting 125,000 refugees, but we have so far received 27,308 refugees this year, and the Trump administration indefinitely suspended the U.S. Refugee Admissions Program (USRAP), so we might not even get close to that cap.
For those of you keeping track at home, here’s how many refugees we’ve admitted over the last few years:
Sycamore Gap Pair Guilty of Felling Famous Tree (The Times)
For those of you who were on the edge of your seat about the fate of the arborcidists mentioned in this newsletter, they received a sentence of GUILTY. Yes, the judge donned the black cap and passed a sentence of DEATH.
Not really—sentencing is set for June, but they really should have cut a tree plea deal because the maximum sentence is 10 years in prison. Both of these exceedingly British-looking men denied involvement and tried to blame each other, exchanging texts and voice notes that referenced their “operation” that fateful night.
See How a Communications Outage Affected Flights at Newark Airport (NYT)
In another follow up story, the New York Times gifted us with a rather anxiety-inducing animation of what happens when air traffic controllers experience what we in the biz call an "oh shit" moment—a 90-second communications blackout. One controller said that it was “by the grace of God that” there wasn’t a mid-air collision that day, which makes sense when you look at this particular cluster of planes.
The delay caused hundreds of flight cancellations and continued for 10 days. Controllers, understandably, were shaken and had such extreme anxiety that they needed to take federally permitted leave, causing even MORE delays. JFK and La Guardia also saw a major uptick in delays, although nowhere near as bad as Newark.
Seattle Police Chief Apologizes for Nude Beach Response at Denny Blaine (Seattle Times)
Due to numerous complaints about public masturbation, the police decided to take things into their own hands. They threatened to bar anyone from the Denny Blaine nude beach who was naked. Naturally, the neighbors would like to see a little less public masturbation (as would we all), but there is some infighting as to how they would like that done.
If you listened to this episode of Blocked & Reported last week, Katie Herzog spoke about the long-standing drama that spilled over into the mayoral race, as well as the flimsy accusations that it was targeting LGBTQ+ people. Luckily for everyone, you can both be gay, straight, queer and/or naked anywhere in Seattle city limits.
Democrats Fume Over Biden's Return to Spotlight (The Hill)
The Democrats want to put Joe Biden behind them, but he has other plans. Fresh off a wave of books detailing his alleged cognitive decline, Biden and Dr. Jill have launched what we might call the "I'm Still Here" tour, making pit stops at The View and the BBC to counter the narrative. (I’ll let you watch the interviews yourself to see if they hold up.)
While some Democrats appreciated that he took responsibility for how things shook out, he’s proving to be a drag on a party still licking its wounds. Anthony Coley, a Democratic strategist, said, “Every interview he does provides a contrast to Trump that’s just not helpful for the Democratic brand, which needs trusted messengers and fighters who can reach independents and moderates and inspire the base. Joe Biden ain’t that.”
By the way, I will be interviewing Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson about their book Original Sin on May 31, in Seattle. Learn more here.
Trump's New Budget Is Another Blueprint for Big Spending (Reason)
Trump’s new “skinny” budget is in, and it… is still struggling to get the top button on its jeans. The bill proposes $163 billion in domestic cuts—a performative nod to small government that includes shuffling education, housing, and green energy to states or the private sector. But it is still setting us up for big spending by increasing defense spending by 13%, pushing it over the $1 trillion mark.
Here’s the catch: While it mostly leaves entitlements like Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid intact, they are the programs that drive 60% of the budget causing some serious GOP infighting (because, let’s be honest, the government defunding your grandma’s measly Social Security check would have even the most ardent MAGA follower turning on Trump.)
Not Even Mad: J.B. Pritzker The New MAGA Slayer
Austin Berg and Eric Zorn are Not Even Mad as we discuss mayoral overcrowding and Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker, the supposed new MAGA slayer.
There’s more where that came from. Listen to The Gist, and upgrade to Pesca Plus for the ad-free version.
Have a story you want us to talk about or an opinion you want to share? Email us at thegist@mikepesca.com or share your thoughts in the comments. We might give you a shoutout in our next newsletter or on the air.