Hampton Inns: A Masterclass In Meh
Plus: The mystery of why murder is going down, when dogs go postal & China cracks down on government day drinking.
There’s a luxury market for everything, but do you need something fancy for a place you’re going to sleep for one night? My opinion has always been no, which is why I’m a big fan of Hampton Inns. And before you start wondering if this is a paid ad, it’s not—I saw an article in Bloomberg. And before you start wondering if this is a paid ad for Bloomberg—no, I saw this article posted above the waffle bar at a Hampton Inn. The most aggressively meh, unterrible hotel chain is raking it in, generating nearly $12 billion in revenue last year with almost 350,000 rooms in 43 countries.
How did “American Mid” become so profitable? Waffles—and a few other things like not having bed bugs—but mostly waffles.
Basically, the entire business model is just a delivery mechanism for a flipped waffle and the immense sense of pride you feel in your breakfast every morning. They could just hand out waffles or use one of those press irons. BUT NO. You have to flip it! And what comes out is a perfect, golden waffle that is absolutely worth the price of the entire night’s stay. While the food is more magic-trick than delicious, it's free, and it feels like a $50 breakfast.
Welcome to the Gist List—a news roundup, interesting things you should know, and my thoughts leading up to today’s podcast episode.
Here’s what’s on my mind:
🍶 Xi tightens the leash on government drinking.
💉 RFK gives the boot to all Biden-era vaccine panel experts.
🍎 Teachers go wild and don’t even get detention.
🔫 The mystery of why, exactly, murder rates are going down.
The Gist List
Xi Tightens Leash On Officials' Boozing And Lavish Living (WSJ)
The Chinese Communist Party is cracking down on a culture of indulgent, lavish behavior among officials. This latest campaign against bureaucratic extravagance was triggered by a boozy lunch in Xinyang, where one official dropped dead. Obviously, this did not have great optics, and local party members tried to cover it up with hush money and a falsified incident report omitting the day drinking.
President Xi Jinping responded not with flowers (definitely not) but with fury. He’s rolled out updated frugality rules for government workers: no alcohol at official meals, no elaborate backdrops at meetings, certainly no floral arrangements, and no luxury dishes. You may get the butterfly shrimp, but certainly not with Bacon. Sweet Pork? Fine. Sour Pork? Also acceptable. Sweet AND Sour pork? What are we running a Hampton Inn here?!? Over 313,000 officials were punished in 2024 alone for breaking these rules—double the number from 2023, and ten times the total from 2013, Xi’s first full year in power. And before I get all the emails, or Substackmails, about how the above items are only the American conception of Chinese food—yes, I know. Just like when you go over to China—everyone believes all Americans will accept a lumpy mattress and crappy shower pressure if you just throw a waffle their way at breakfast.
Kennedy Removes All C.D.C. Vaccine Panel Experts (NYT)
U.S. Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has fired all 17 members of the CDC’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP)—what he would call a “clean sweep” of all the Biden-era members. Naturally, we are getting hit with all of RFK’s vaccine denial stories, which is a fair point to make, but I can’t help but feel like there might be more to the story.
The ACIP plays a critical role in shaping vaccine policy, determining who receives which vaccines and when—decisions that affect everything from insurance coverage to school requirements. But there are disagreements, and not just from your homeschooling neighbors. There is a lack of consensus worldwide on who should be vaccinated and when. For example, the UK is no longer recommending COVID-19 vaccines for pregnant women (mostly due to the cost-effectiveness). In the U.S., we actively encourage the flu vaccine for everyone 6 months and older, whereas in various EU countries, it’s more of a vague suggestion. This isn’t to say that RFK will be putting more thoughtful people in the ACIP’s place, but I do appreciate hearing the issues treated as if they were genuinely open to debate in the instances they are.
Dog Attacks On Mail Carriers Reach 7-Year High, Postal Service Data Shows (NBC News)
Over 6,000 postal carriers were attacked by a dog in 2024, the highest number since 2018, with the Midwest leading the pack. Apparently, this is a big enough problem for postal carriers that the USPS has to do a yearly campaign raising awareness and reminding people to keep their dogs in a separate room or leashed when they receive their mail. Moreover, it’s enough of a problem to justify this spectacular photoshoot:
We emailed a spokesperson at USPS to ask all the important questions about it. Is that a real mail carrier? Did they actually get the dog to jump that high? What’s her name? Is she a very good girl? Did she get paid?! They got back to us with some details about the photo:
This is indeed a real letter carrier named T.J. Jackson. The photo is intended to show how mail carriers can use their satchel to protect themselves from aggressive dogs.
The photo is not photoshopped. In fact, the dog is a trained cadaver dog who can jump on command. (So yes, a VERY good girl.)
Of course, on a more serious note, both mail carriers and dogs exist in every neighborhood, and there have been fatal attacks, so remember to keep Fluffy contained when your mail gets delivered.
Pennsylvania Is Supposed To 'Immediately' Suspend Teachers Charged With Serious Crimes. That Doesn't Always Happen (Philadelphia Inquirer)
The Philadelphia Inquirer's investigation revealed serious failures in the state's handling of teachers who break the law. Despite legal requirements for immediate suspension in many cases, the state often took more than a year to act, leaving teachers in classrooms long after committing suspension-worthy offenses.
Why was this happening? First off, “immediate” suspension can have some creative interpretations, as the state does not define a timeline. Teachers need to be given due process and provided with reliable documentation, but this can take months. They also have to be notified, which sometimes doesn’t even happen. There’s also a lack of communication, and schools will cite teacher discipline as “inappropriate” or “improper,” leaving a lot up to interpretation and allowing them to show up and teach in another district.
Are Murder Rates Plummeting Under Donald Trump? What We Know (Newsweek)
Technically, yes, but while the headline might be giving you one idea of how this story goes, it is worth digging into the numbers before we give all the credit to the president. The truth is that this is part of a larger trend. Homicide rates have declined every year since 2022 and have been widely reported. If rates continue to fall, we might even see the lowest murder rate ever recorded in the U.S.
Yesterday On The Show: How Democrats Can Win On Climate Without Doom-Talking
Former Washington Governor Jay Inslee argues Democrats can win on climate—if they frame it as jobs, savings, and health, not just apocalypse. He points to his state’s 62–38 vote preserving ambitious emissions policy, even in red counties, as proof that voters can be persuaded. However, national polls rank climate change near the bottom of priorities, and skeptics like Matt Yglesias argue that the green agenda may be driving voters away. Plus: it has become ordinary to label events extraordinary—plus the Spiel sorts hype from heat in L.A.'s latest blast of ICE raids, flash-bangs and freeway fires.
There’s more where that came from. Listen to The Gist, and upgrade to Pesca Plus for the ad-free version.
Have a story you want us to talk about or an opinion you want to share? Email us at thegist@mikepesca.com or share your thoughts in the comments. We might give you a shoutout in our next newsletter or on the air.