ICE Head Wants Deportations To Work Like Amazon
Plus: Dutch sperm donors procreating faster than Elon Musk, Tesla’s tarnished image, and the FDA is taking a break from food safety.
If you’re one of those people who is still using Covid.gov—and I know you're out there—you were treated to quite the digital whiplash this morning. Much like Harvard’s recent rebrand from this to this, what was once the staid, bureaucratic equivalent of the hospital waiting room, the site now redirects to this masterpiece: An ardent defense of the lab leak theory. This new White House landing page has everything: premium fonts, classic Donald Trump branding, and a photo of Dr. Fauci face-palming in shame.
In other political pageantry, DNC Vice Chair David Hogg is still at it, trying to primary older Democratic incumbents. Hogg's plans include sketches of a proposed intra-democratic party firing squad, which are alternately described as “ring-shaped” or “spherical.”
Welcome to the Gist List — a news roundup, interesting things you should know, and my thoughts leading up to today’s podcast episode.
Today, we have a particularly wacky lineup of stories:
📦 ICE Director wants US deportations to work like Amazon Prime, "but with human beings.”
🥬 Exciting news if you like your meal with a side of DANGER.
👶 Dutch sperm donors procreating faster than Elon Musk.
🚘 Can Tesla buff out its tarnished image?
🏠 The mortgage fraud to home confinement pipeline.
🇱🇸 Book bans are so passé. We're onto flags now.
The Gist List
US seeks to turn deportations into an efficient business ‘like Amazon’ (AP)
Trump is putting his feud with Amazon to rest and instead taking a page out of their playbook: The Amazonification of the immigration system. ICE is planning on expanding its immigration detention capacity from 41,000 to 100,000 beds. Whether or not they can get same-day Prime delivery on those beds is unknown.
Also noteworthy, Louisiana has become the second-largest state for immigration detention despite having relatively few immigrants. This might be a move to deliberately isolate detainees from legal support and families, making it harder for them to fight deportation.
FDA making plans to end its routine food safety inspections, sources say (CBS News)
For diners who want their Egg McMuffins to come with a frisson of DANGER, the FDA is planning to wrap up most of its routine food safety inspections and pass the responsibility off to state and local authorities.
Before you panic and turn your kitchen into a level 4 bio lab, this might not mean the collapse of our food safety system. In 2007, after a tragic E. coli outbreak in California, farmers willingly took a proactive approach through LGMA to ensure your spinach salad doesn’t put you in the ground.
The downside for the government goes beyond the obvious worry that this will make food less safe. After that one BIG outbreak, even the same kind of outbreak that routinely happens with regular federal inspections, this will come back to haunt the Trump Administration. Plus, it is among the raft of DOGE or federal cuts that won’t save as much money for actual citizens. It will just move federal expenditures to the state level.
Sperm Donors in the Netherlands Fathered More Than 25 Children Each, New Data Reveals (NYT)
Dutch sperm donors are procreating faster than Elon Musk. According to the newly established Donor Data Artificial Insemination Board, some donors have up to 500 children around the world. According to Vincent Karremans, who is the minister for youth, prevention and sport (all three of which seem to apply to this issue), this is the result of poor record-keeping and oversight of fertility clinics.
Can the Tesla brand be saved? (Fast Company)
Tesla, with its dealerships looking more like a post-apocalyptic movie every day, is facing a tarnished brand image due to its association with Elon Musk. According to this article, “It’s difficult to find a pure parallel to a past mass-market brand crisis that boils down to widespread contempt for a CEO." Personally, I would nominate American Apparel, Miramax, and WeWork. However, there’s also Koch Industries, and remember Steve Jobs was fired from Apple in 1985 and didn’t return until 1997.
New York Attorney General Letitia James accused of possible mortgage fraud (CBS)
Letitia James is facing fraud charges relating to her properties in Virginia and New York. According to a letter from FHFA director to Attorney General Pam Bondi, James "has, in multiple instances, falsified bank documents and property records to acquire government backed assistance and loans and more favorable loan terms."
This story, which took days to wind its way through the media ecosystem from Truth Social to the New York Post, bears a remarkable resemblance to the case that snared an aggressive female prosecutor in Baltimore. Former Baltimore City State Attorney Marilyn Mosby was recently convicted of mortgage fraud and served, ironically, 12 months of home confinement.
Virginia flag banned in Texas district over exposed breast (Axios)
The bare-breasted state flag of Virginia offended the delicate sensibilities of the genteel people of the Lamar CISD school district in Texas and removed an entire section from an online learning platform because the district recently adopted a ban on "visual depictions or illustrations of frontal nudity.”
Yesterday on Not Even Mad:
Boston Globe columnist Carine Hajjar and The Commercial Break's Bryan Green debate whether Joe Rogan's platforming of antisemitic conspiracies signals a deeper societal problem or is simply the inevitable cost of open dialogue.
Plus: the case for defunding Harvard, and an update on Kilmar Abrego Garcia's imprisonment in El Salvador. In Goat Grinders, we critique student driver bumper stickers, discuss White Lotus star Aimee Lou Wood's sharp takedown of SNL, and lament the streaming void.
There’s more where that came from. Listen to The Gist, and upgrade to Pesca Plus for the ad-free version.
Have a story you want us to talk about or an opinion you want to share? Email us at thegist@mikepesca.com or share your thoughts in the comments. We might give you a shoutout in our next newsletter or on the air.