Hey, Gist List reader!
You’ve been getting The Gist List four times a week. In addition to a Pesca Profundities piece each Wednesday, you get a Gist List on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday—just like a regular subsidized milk delivery from the government that I hear Zohran Mamdani is considering implementing.
But starting tomorrow, two of those bottles of milk—Thursday and Friday—are going to the top shelf. Translation: they’re going behind the paywall, and you’ll have to ask the store clerk to get them out for you.
Why? Because good things can’t always be free. (Are you listening, Zohran?) Coffee isn’t free. Even water isn’t free. And, frankly, the best riffs, the most Gist-y Gists on the list, are landing on Thursdays and Fridays. Why? The investigative team at The Gist List says that Thursday is a good day for comedy (Friends, Cheers, Family Ties) and Friday is a great day for the dramatic (Friday Night Lights, Friday News Dump).
👉But the good news is, right now I am offering 25% off the yearly price to anyone who subscribes. Click here to get 25% off and keep the milk fresh.
What you get:
Monday and Tuesday: still free, still fresh.
Thursday and Friday: smarter, snappier, sassier—but now for paid subscribers only.
The smug satisfaction of knowing you’re supporting journalism and beating inflation (this costs less than one airport bagel).
Here’s what you’ll miss if you DON’T subscribe—these are some of our best stories from the last few months. Stories and Mike’s takes like this will be behind a paywall every Thursday and Friday!
The men paying thousands of dollars to get their legs broken: These short kings want to be medium sultans and are rushing to Turkey as fast as their little legs can carry them to get a leg lengthening procedure.
Kraft and Heinz call it quits: The final honking burp of the last squirt of the plastic mustard bottle has tolled, and this Warren Buffett-backed food fight of a merger is over.
The West End show where theatre goers storm the Capitol: In this interactive show filled with insufferable fourth-wall breaking, participants can re-enact Jan. 6. During the game, you can even vote on whether to “hang” or “save” Mike Pence. In 18 of the 24 performances, people voted to hang him. Weirdly, no one complained that the vote was rigged.
Don’t settle for half a Gist. Upgrade, get it all, and feel superior to your freeloading friends.
See you on the inside,
Mike